Content Warning

The following work of fiction contains scenes of suicidal ideation, and references to graphic sexual assault, and acts of physical and emotional cruelty enacted in the name of a fictional, extremist religion.

Chapter 1

Safe Haven

The contrivance that had brought the gryphon and the human healer out of Haven in answer to Matthias’ call for help was nothing like any transport that Tam had ever seen before. There seemed to be an open wagon somewhere in its recent ancestry, something that Tam was trying very hard not to think about as he sat in the back of what Dancer called her sleigh. There was a shield keeping the cold night wind out, but it was otherwise entirely open to the sky and the elements. Tam once more firmly shoved aside thoughts about how fast they were traveling, and how high they were above the ground, and how exactly did this contraption stay in the air. There simply wasn’t enough room on his already crowded plate for another set of worries.

“She’ll be all right?” he asked again, looking down at Linnea’s pale face. She was bundled up in blankets and fur cloaks against the cold, and hadn’t moved a muscle since Tam had laid her down here. Which wasn’t right—Linnea had never been a quiet sleeper, even when they were kids together. “Shouldn’t she be moving? Or something?”

The little, dark-haired healer sitting on Linnea’s other side smiled at him, and he couldn’t tell if the smile was meant to reassure, or was simply because she was too polite to laugh at him for asking the same question for the third time.

“She’s in a healing trance,” she said. “It’s holding her quiet and stable while the rest of the spells work on healing the damage to her arm,” She paused, met Tam’s eyes. “She’ll be fine. She’s responding very well to the spells. And the baby will be fine, too.”

Tam nodded. “I should have asked that, too. I’m still not used to the idea.” He swallowed, then smiled. “When I ask again in ten minutes—”

“I’ll tell you the same thing,” she finished.

Tam grinned. “Remind me? What’s your name?” he asked. “I think I’ve lost it. So much has happened, and I don’t think I’m really over whatever it was that Lin slipped into my tea last night.” He stopped and frowned. “Was it just last night? I’m not sure anymore.”

“Give me your hand.” The healer held her hand out; Tam took it, and felt warmth spread up his arm. “You’re right. There is still sedative in your blood. Ilane.”

Tam blinked, trying to ignore the warmth. “That the sedative?”

She giggled. It was a good sound. “That’s my name.”

Tam smiled. “Ilane. Nice to meet you. I wish it had been under better circumstances.” He looked down at Linnea, then sighed.

“Is she your woman?” Ilane asked, letting go of Tam’s hand.

“Lin? No, she’s her own woman. She’s my best friend, since we were kids together.” He looked down at her. “At least, I thought she was.”

“And she drugged you?”

“Yeah. I don’t understand it.” Tam pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. “When she wakes up, I’ll ask her. But for now—”

“She’s fine, Tam,” Ilane repeated. “She’s fine, and you’re both safe now.” She frowned. “What about the others? Matthias and his lover?”

“Solomon,” Tam murmured. His stomach lurched. “I don’t know, Ilane.”

We will go back for them.

Dancer’s voice rang in his head, and he looked forward to where the gryphon rested in front of a control panel.

“I thought you said we were breaking the rules,” Tam called back. “That you weren’t supposed to bring us back in the first place.”

If Matthias does what he intends, then it will be safe to bring him and his mate back to Haven.

Tam bit down on his retort—if Matthias did what he intended, there wasn’t going to be anyone to bring back to Haven. Matthias was dying already, and he was going back down the mountain to die on his own terms.

“You don’t think he’ll make it,” Ilane said, her voice barely audible over the winds. “You don’t think he’ll survive.”

Tam shook his head. “I hope he will. I want him to. But—”

“He told me that you think you’re related?”

Tam shrugged. “He’s too much like my brother for us not to be. I think he’s my uncle’s son. But really, though, they all are. Linnea and Matt and Solomon. Shit, even Balthazar was family.” He tipped his head back against the side of the sleigh. “I hope he comes out of it. I hope they both do. I really do.”

“Tam, what happened back there?” Ilane asked.

He turned his head to look at her. “I’m too tired for a long, drawn-out explanation. In a nutshell, the Elders thinks that Matthias is their perfect sacrifice, that killing him will give them the power to take over the world.”

Ilane looked startled. “But—”

“Yeah, I know,” Tam said. “From what you saw of him, Matt looks like he’ll blow away in a strong wind. And now, yeah, I’d agree with you. But he’s stronger than he looks. He got us this far on sheer determination. And now, they’ve pissed him off.”

“If he does what he said he would, if he destroys half the mountain, he’ll kill himself,” Ilane said. “Is he really that powerful?”

Tam swallowed. “I don’t know. I think so.”

Ilane nodded once. “Then he’ll come through it. And you’ll find him again.”

Tam closed his eyes. “I hope so. Are we almost there?”

“Almost, Tam.”

***

Nothing hurts.

That’s odd. Something should hurt.

Shouldn’t it?

Without opening her eyes, Linnea snaked one hand beneath the heavy blankets covering her and probed at her right shoulder. She could feel a scar, but nothing else. Not even bandages. She frowned, opened her eyes, and blinked. A neat room—soft gray walls, a table and chair, a bookcase, and diffuse light outside the window. Dawn, or dusk? She couldn’t tell. And she had no idea where she was. She sat up slowly, pushing the blankets back and examining herself. She was clean, and wearing a linen nightdress that was too short on her. She rested one hand on her stomach and looked around. The last thing she remembered was the mountain—

She heard voices through the closed door. One of them she knew as well as she knew her own. But when the door opened, it wasn’t Tam who appeared. Instead, a woman came into the bedroom. She was a little younger than Linnea, smaller in stature, with dark hair that hung past her shoulders. There was an aura to her, a soft eminence of benign magic that followed her movements like a halo. She smiled when she saw Linnea.

“I thought I heard you,” she said. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t hurt,” Linnea answered. “Where are we? And who are you? And did I hear Tam out there?”

“Good,” the woman said. “Now, I’m Ilane, and I’m a healer. Before I answer the rest of the questions, let me assure you that you are safe, and you and your baby are both perfectly fine. And you did hear Tam, who is not being very patient.” She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “But he’s too polite to ask me to move.” She stepped the rest of the way into the room, and Tam appeared in the doorway. He looked tired, worried, and Linnea wondered why. Was it for her?

“Tam?” she asked. “Where are we?”

Tam shook his head. “First, let Ilane take a look at you. Then I’ll explain everything.” He grimaced. “Everything I can explain, that is.”

Linnea frowned, but didn’t insist, letting Ilane come closer. Her hands were warm, her magic warmer, and Linnea watched the magic dance around Ilane’s hands.

“You respond very well to healing magic,” Ilane said after a moment. “That arm is almost completely healed. I think we can let the rest heal naturally.”

“And you said the baby is all right?” Linnea asked. “My getting hurt didn’t hurt him? Her?”

Ilane smiled. “The baby is fine. Now, let me leave you and Tam to talk. When you’re feeling up to it, there’s a bath, and we’ll see what we can find for clothes for you.” She let go of Linnea’s hand and left the room, closing the door behind her. Tam waited until she was gone before pulling the chair closer to the bed and sitting down.

“Tell me why,” he said quietly. “Tell me why I should trust you, ever again?”

Linnea flinched. “I’m sorry—”

“You drugged me,” Tam continued. “You drugged me, and you ran off with the bastard who tried to rape Matt.”

“I didn’t know he wasn’t Balthazar anymore,” Linnea said weakly.

“That makes a difference? He still tried to rape Matthias, and you not only let him go, you damn near got killed because of it. And you might have gotten Matthias and Solomon killed, too.” Tam leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. “You’ve been out, since yesterday. So you don’t know. Those bastards followed you, Lin.”

“Oh, no,” Linnea gasped. “Tam, where are Matthias and Solomon?”

Tam swallowed. “I don’t know. The Elders took Solomon, Lin. Matt went back for him. He sent you and me on to safety, and he went back.”

Linnea stared at him, suddenly cold. “He went back? You let him go back?”

“And how was I supposed to stop him?” Tam demanded. “We barely got out of there as it is, and that only because Ilane lies like a fucking rug. She convinced them you were dead. He wanted you, too.”

“He? You mean Balthazar?”

“I mean Cyrus,” Tam said. “Balthazar’s dead and you know it.” He sighed and scrubbed one hand over his face. “Lin, we’re going back out. Me and Dancer, we’re going to go look for them. Tomorrow, maybe the next day. I don’t know. We’ll find them if we can.”

“Dancer?” Linnea repeated. “Who’s Dancer? And I’m coming with you.”

“You are not,” Tam said, his voice flat. “You’re staying here. Where it’s safe, where no one who thinks you’re dead will find out you’re not. And where you and the baby will be safe, because I promised Matt that.”

Linnea met his eyes. “And because you can’t trust me anymore.”

Tam didn’t look away. “And because I can’t trust you anymore,” he repeated.

Linnea nodded, looking down at her hands. “Where is here, by the way? You never said. And who’s Dancer?”

“Here is Haven. Dancer is Hunter’s mother.”

Linnea sighed. She rubbed her hands together, then rubbed them on her linen-covered legs. “So, we’re safe, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tam got up slowly. “I’ll let you get that bath. Then—”

“Tam, I’m sorry,” Linnea interrupted. “Do I get to explain anything? Don’t I at least get that?”

Tam hesitated, then sat down. He spread his hands. “Go on.”

“That last night—I know what he did. I didn’t understand how he could, but I know what he did. And I thought I could convince him that we should go away, just the two of us. I told him I was pregnant when I went out to where you left him. I told him we could leave you all, that you’d go on and be safe, and that we’d go on and be by ourselves. I thought I was making the best choice for all of us. I was getting him away from Matthias, and I was giving him a chance. I thought—” She stopped and sighed. “I don’t know what I thought.”

“You weren’t thinking. You fell in love with the little shit, didn’t you?” Tam asked. Linnea swallowed and nodded, feeling her chest growing tighter the longer she thought of it.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” she said, her voice choked. “I knew you’d never let me go. I knew you wouldn’t agree with me. I thought you’d sleep it off, and by the time you woke up, we’d be gone and out of your lives and you’d go on and be safe. You’d get Matthias to someone who could help him and you’d be safe and I’d have Balthazar and we’d all be happy.” She looked down and saw a droplet of water puddling on the linen over her thighs. Another splashed down next to it, and she realized she was crying. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt.”

“Lin?” Tam sounded shocked, and she heard the chair scrape across the floor. The bed shifted as he sat down next to her. “Lin, are you crying?” She started to answer, but all that came out was a hiccup. She heard him sigh. “Oh, Lin.” Then his arms closed around her, and her resolve crumbled under a deluge of tears. For a long time, all she could do was cling to him, until she finally could take a long, shaking breath.

“I’ve never seen you cry,” she heard him murmur. “Not even when your mother died.”

“I don’t cry,” Linnea said, her voice muffled in his shoulder. She sniffled, pulling back a little. “I’ve gotten your shirt all wet.”

“I’ll dry off,” Tam said, rubbing her back. “Did that help?”

Linnea sniffed again. “I don’t know. I am sorry, Tam. I should have trusted you.”

“Yes, you should have,” Tam agreed. “We could have come up with something. But it’s too late now.”

Linnea sat up and scrubbed her face with her sleeve. “Do you think they’re still alive?”

Tam looked at the window. “I think it’s almost sunset. Cyrus told Matt that he had to be back to the standing stones by sunset, or they were going to kill Solomon. So right now? I think they’re alive. If you ask me again in an hour, I don’t know what I’ll answer.”

Linnea turned and looked, then looked back down. “If he survives, if they survive, they’ll never forgive me. It’s all my fault.”

Tam paused, then shook his head. “I don’t know how to answer that, so I’m not going to. There’s a bath waiting for you.”

Before Linnea could answer, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Linnea called. Ilane came into the room, her brow furrowed slightly.

“Dancer was here,” she said. “And you both are wanted at the Conclave hall. As soon as we can get there.”

Tam stiffened, and Linnea wondered why. “Conclave?”

“They’re the people in charge,” Tam answered. “Why, Ilane?”

“Because they’re going to be deciding if you will be allowed to stay,” Ilane answered. “Dancer says she apologizes, but that she didn’t think they’d refuse you once she had you here.”

“Wait. Refuse us?” Tam repeated. “They’d send us back?”

Ilane licked her lips and shook her head. “I don’t know what they’d do. It’s never happened before. Dancer is in a great deal of trouble; she might lose her place on the Conclave for this. And she’s apparently already told the others that she’s going back for Matthias and his mate.”

“They won’t stop her, will they?” Linnea asked. “I mean, Hunter said we’d be safe here. He told Matthias that—that’s why we came!”

“It’s been a long time since Hunter disappeared,” Ilane said. “My grandmother told me that it happened when her mother was child.”

“So, now we need to go in front of the people in charge, and convince them to let us stay, and to let us go back for the rest of our family,” Tam said. He snorted. “Shit, this isn’t so different from the Warren.”

“Where’s that?” Ilane asked.

“It’s where we were from,” Linnea answered. “And it’s not important. We can’t go back there. Where’s this bath? If they want us soonest, I need it.”

“This way.” Ilane gestured toward the door. “While you bathe, we’ll find you something to wear.”

***

“The streets are glowing!” Linnea said, walking out into the broad avenue and turning around to see the soft, blue light. “Why are the streets glowing?”

“So you can see where you’re going,” Ilane answered. She’d insisted on going with them, telling Tam that they were both still under her care, and she was responsible for them. “It happens every night at sunset, and it stays this bright for a few hours. Then it fades a bit, but it doesn’t go out until dawn.”

“It’s nice,” Tam said, absently. Linnea looked at him, and he shrugged.

“Sunset?” she asked softly. He nodded.

“I wish we knew,” he answered. “I wish there was a way to know what happened.”

“We’ll know eventually,” Linnea said. Tam nodded and offered her his hand. The simple gesture made her feel as if she was going to cry again, and she took his hand gratefully.

“This way,” Ilane said, leading them down the street. She kept an easy pace, pointing out various shops and different streets, and the way to the gryphon quarter. Linnea tried to pay attention, but something kept tugging at the edge of her thoughts. For a moment, she thought it was the magic in profligate use around her, but she dismissed that. Whatever it was, it was slowly getting stronger.

“Lin?” Tam asked. “You okay?”

“I’m not sure,” Linnea answered. “Do you feel anything?”

“Anything like what?” Tam asked, stopping. He looked around. “What is it?”

“I’m not sure,” Linnea repeated. “It’s like summer lightning. You know how you can feel it, sometimes?” She turned a slow circle, looking around. What was it? Then she stopped. “Tam? What direction am I facing? I’m all turned around.”

It was Ilane who answered. “East. You’re facing east.”

“That can’t be east,” Tam said. “Not with the sunset—”

“That’s not the sunset,” Linnea said, feeling every hair on her arms rising. “That’s magic.” She turned and looked at Tam. “That’s Matthias.”

“That can’t be!”

As Tam uttered the words, fire sprang over the mountains, a solid sheet of it that fractured into individual ribbons before cascading down over the peaks and into Haven. Linnea could hear screaming from behind her, could hear people running.

“What has he done?” Tam gasped. He came up behind Linnea, his voice loud in her ear. “What is this?”

“I don’t know,” Linnea answered. “But it’s coming here.” Without knowing how, she knew that this was what had been tugging at her. That one of those ribbons was coming for her.

“We need to get out of the streets,” Ilane said. “Is he trying to destroy us?”

“No,” Linnea said, her voice firm. One of the fiery ribbons dove straight down, separating from the others as if it was targeting something. The others streaked on overhead and past them. “This won’t destroy anything it’s not supposed to.”

“Lin, we’re still getting out of the street,” Tam said. “Come on. Back to the house.” He took her arm, starting to pull her along. She shook her head and pulled away.

“Go inside, Tam,” she said, watching the fire. “This—I asked you, if you thought he’d forgive me.” She nodded at the fire coming toward them. “I’ll know in a minute. Go inside.”

“Linnea!”

She shook her head and walked forward, eyes never leaving the approaching fire. She could hear it now, feel it calling her. Behind her, she heard Tam call her name. Then the fire met her, surrounded her with heat that didn’t burn. She could see Matthias’ magic in the fire, darker than she was used to, the feel of it very different. She could feel pain and something else fueling it as it rushed through her, seeking something. Whatever it was the fire sought wasn’t within her, and between one heartbeat and the next, it was gone, spiraling up to vanish into the air. Linnea staggered back, and felt hands catching her.

“Linnea?” Tam demanded, spinning her around. “Are you all right? What was that?”

Linnea looked up, watching as the rest of the fires followed the one that had sought her out. From somewhere in the distance, she could hear shouting, and alarm bells. “Matthias. He sent those. They were looking for something. I don’t know what. I couldn’t tell. But I didn’t have it.”

“What happened if there was someone who did?” Ilane asked. She took Linnea’s hand, then shook her head. “You’re fine. It didn’t do anything to you.”

“It took ten years off my life,” Tam grumbled. “Now what?”

Ilane frowned, then looked around. “The Conclave hall. We’re supposed to be there.”

The streets were eerily quiet, the alarms fallen silent. They walked in silence down more wide avenues until they reached a large, open plaza. Linnea stopped when she saw the enormous golden gryphon standing in the center of the plaza.

“That’s Dancer,” Tam said. “She must be waiting for us.”

“That’s Dancer?” Linnea repeated. “You didn’t tell me she was that big.”

The gryphon slowly came toward them, and Linnea found herself doing something she’d never done before—she stepped behind Tam. He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes wide.

“Lin?”

“She’s really big,” Linnea whispered. “She’s a lot bigger than Hunter was.”

Tam smiled, reaching back and taking her hand. “It’s all right. She won’t hurt you. And you’ll like her.”

Dancer stopped a few feet in front of them and shook her head, her wings flexing slightly. Linnea jerked in shock as a warm, female voice sounded in her mind. There will be no meeting of the Conclave, children. You should go back to the house. Stay there until I come for you.

“Dancer, what is it?” Ilane asked. “Was it the fire?”

Dancer’s nares flared, and her beak snapped. Those fires have caused madness. There are members of the Conclave missing, and the Senior Councilor was consumed by the flames in the middle of the chamber itself. We do not know where this came from, or why we are under attack.

Linnea caught her breath, then swallowed. “You’re not under attack,” she said. “It won’t happen again.”

You know where this came from? Dancer asked. Her beak opened. You think this was Matthias?

“I’m certain it was Matthias,” Linnea answered. “But I don’t know why.”

Dancer turned slightly, looking at a tall building with rose-pink columns. This will cause problems. I must think. Go home, children. I will come for you later.

“Dancer, is it safe?” Ilane asked. Dancer snorted.

I will answer that later. For now, go home.