For the costume-wearing, role-playing folks who know how to have fun.

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Edited by Sinclair Sexsmith

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Written by Gora Shade

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100% written by a human, for humans

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Jackie took a sip of her sweet tea and pressed the fabric of her white Sunday dress flat against her ladylike-positioned knees. “It’s been lonely since Jim passed away.”

Adel was ten years her senior, was a widow herself, and knew about these things.

“Loneliness is a killer,” Adel confirmed.

“I mean” —Jackie went on, adjusting the brim of her straw hat— “loneliness as in the conversation, not the company.”

Age lines bunched together as the older woman laughed heartily. She looked radiant in her pale blue pantsuit, string of pearls, and short, curly, salt-and-pepper hair. “Is that right?”

Jackie found it difficult to focus on her companion’s face when she’d neglected buttons on her blouse, and those perfect, small breasts jostled underneath. She attempted to cast her eyes elsewhere, down at Adel’s high polished pumps, all the while wondering whether this woman had bothered with a bra, or anything else.

“We were married almost two years,” Jackie sighed, “but not once did my Jim give me that ka-bang I’ve heard the other women at church speak about.”

Adel choked on her tea. “Ka-bang?”

“Oh, you know…” Jackie leaned forward as if to tell a secret, no matter no soul was in earshot of the porch or anywhere else on the farm on a Sunday. “Where your legs go stiff and your feet shake.” She nodded her head in response to Adel’s raised brow. “Some women scream—or you know—call out, apparently. Like when a man lets his engine go.”

“Well…” Adel fanned herself with a bit of newspaper. She was comfortable with her character now, as was plain by how she spoke. “I know all about that. I was married twelve years and only achieved your fabled ka-bang when I was by myself. I suppose it can be loud.”

Feigning shock was Jackie’s favorite. Every detail, from the way she’d done her simple makeup, chosen a plain dress, and inserted tiny, innocent flowers into her hair—they were all part of the icing to this beloved game.

“By yourself? What on earth do you mean, Adel?”

Adel stood up with the grace of a no-nonsense woman. “Why don’t you come inside, and I’ll show you?”

Jackie dutifully followed her friend past the screen door of the farm house, down a hallway, passing a modest kitchen until they came to the stairs.

Adel began her ascent, her rear end more shapely in her Sunday best than church should legally allow. Outside their playing in the real world: Jackie always got a kick out of catching men, with their wandering gazes and, presumably sinful thoughts, following the athletic flex of this ass. It was a thrill to know Adel was desirable, and that Adel was all hers. Jackie wasn’t even jealous.

“Adel, wouldn’t you rather have me...

The Big Ka-Bang