"Well boys, what do you think?"

"I don't know man, looks pretty regular." His friends sit around, peering at his open fly. The five of them aren't the closest pals, but when they were grouped together for a fifth-grade sex education assignment -- labelling internal anatomy, giggles spilling from their table -- they quickly came to trust that they could ask each other anything. All through puberty, the group chat pinged with frequent inquiries of 'boys, is this normal?', met with reassurances that they'd heard of a buddy of a pal who that'd happened to, and a poll on whether or not to get it checked out. They'd all gone off to college the year before, straying far and wide across the country. Two had driven into the mountains, Gerald to the Appalachians and Matt the Rockies, filling the group chat with stunning vistas of east coast sunrises and west coast sunsets. Tom had set his sights further south, driving deep into the desert for the eternal sunshine and dry-roasting heat. Saul, adventurous as he was, had finally settled the gay-or-European debate in their small town by moving to France and experimenting with his bisexuality.

David was the only one who stayed behind. His high school sweetheart had begged him not to leave her, insisting he was the only sweet boy in town, that she had eyes for him and only him. She'd been saving herself for marriage, she insisted. He was the one, but not yet. The other night, though, they'd been fooling around on the couch while a midwest winter storm raged outside. Kissing and grinding, she'd pulled his cock out of his shorts. After one long hard look at it, she turned a bit green and tucked it back in, safely encased in dampening cotton. Every insecurity he'd ever had flamed inside his chest, warming his cheeks with shame. He sent a request for an emergency meeting of his boys, all conveniently in town for the holidays, with offers of beer from his dad's cooler and pot from his sister's stash.

Now, the five are encamped in David's garage, feeling comfortably buzzed and open to their friend's query: is my dick weird?

“Really normal-looking, I think,” Tom ventures. “I’m not a connoisseur, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

“I am a connoisseur!” Saul exclaims with a wink. “I wouldn’t turn it down if I saw it coming at me.”

“That’s what she said,” Gerald chimes in and earns a smack to the back of the head from Tom. “I mean, that’s not really what she said this time, is it?” Another smack.

“Can it, Jerry,” Tom admonishes. “Say something helpful!”

“Uhhh, I don’t know, maybe it’s a little weird?”

David blanches. “Say more! Why’s it weird?”

“Does it curve? It looks, like, a little scrunched on one side.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Matt tilts his head to get a better angle. “Is a curve weird? Like, I know it’s normal, but maybe she thinks...

Hung Jury