Pineapples & Possibilities, Part 1: How Did We Get Here?

Molly waits until she's half-naked with my hands on her before she starts talking about her new vibrator.

"Greg, this thing snatched my goddamn soul. I —" Her voice falters as my fingers hit a knot in her shoulders. She moans.

Classic Molly.

Seconds later, she continues, "Shit, I think I actually saw God. Her hair looks nice. She says 'hi'."

"Makes sense that you would see God during an orgasm," I offer. Setting the trap.

Molls half-turns her head in my direction, "Oh yeah?"

I rub lotion on my hands as I prepare to move onto Molly's back. "Of course. God is a perv."

Molly laughs. She wasn't expecting that. Her volume is at borderline raucous and I have to use my hands to steady her on the flimsy massage table.

"Is she now?"

"One hundred percent."

"And what brings you to that conclusion?"

"Have you seen nature?"

I'm leaning forward as I rub her back, moving down from the shoulders. I can see her squinting as she considers my response.

"C'mon, you're gonna tell me that nature isn't extremely horny in its design?"

"That's assuming that the process or function of nature can be ascribed to the concept of sexuality. Which seems like an entirely human supposition, whereas nature's design lies within the purview of the divine."

"Oh bullshit!" I've found myself in a semantic argument about nature with someone who double-minored in philosophy and biology.

"That's — it's like when people try to argue that sex isn't...