Women

Women

By Richard Bacula

I just stood there for a long time, looking at the picture of a man in a cape, before I realized that it wasn't a man in cape at all--it was a woman in a dress. I finally deciphered the words on the door, which turned to be just one word, "Women." Sometimes the simple advertising is the best; I went on in, because Women was what I was looking for.

Somehow, instead of a storefront full of women, the room just had a bunch of toilets and sinks. There was only one woman there, and she wasn't happy to see me.

"Look, lady," I explained. "I'm really, really, really drunk, and I'm not sure what Todd had me smoke, but I'm really starting to think that it wasn't just Green Snowflake. The man on the door said you had women in here, and I happen to be looking for a woman. Or two, if I could afford it. I don't have much money since the divorce."

She said something to me, but I have no idea what.

"Lissen here." I said. "I'm drunk, I'm horny, and I'm desperately lonely. I gotta find a women, and that's what the door said."

She patiently explained something that I couldn't understand.

I cocked my head, quizzically. I took a deep breath, then I let it out again. I leaned against one of the sinks, saw a guy out of the corner of my eye, jumped back and cocked...